As a child I was raised in the country and baptized Episcopalian, however, that changed when my parents moved to a rural area and the closest church was Methodist. There were approximately 50 total members. I stayed at that church until around the age of 14 when my family again moved and I did not have anything to do with the church until around 18. At 18, I joined the Army National Guard and moved to Texas a year later with my mother who encouraged me to go to a youth retreat. I became a “Born Again” Christian at that time and realized just how life in the church was as I was shown things I did not quite understand, people going through the motions without any real drive or desire fueling their search for God. So precisely here is where I began to have a drive and desire to seek God. About 19 years of age and I had no idea what I was in for.
I joined the regular army and went full time active duty. Here I met an interesting group of gentlemen a young Jewish man, a devout Catholic, an intellectual and someone who was sort of a bag of tricks, then there was myself. I didn’t know who I was. In 1984 I selected a book store in Burlington, VT. which had some different kind of Christian literature that I had never seen before, my friends all told me they were not good, but what was not good about Love? So, I began reading this book and repeating a mantra, before long I was out of body consciousness and became spiritually unbalanced for a good number of years. It was just the kick start I needed.
After this I realized most of my friends thought I was crazy and distanced themselves from me. I took a different road. So me and my 5 passions began to read every book we could find and lay our hands on, Hindu Mysticism, the Gita, Zen, Secular Humanism, and all sorts of things. I though I was some sort of spiritual advisor or something. I then joined another religion for a number of years off and on, which had the light and sound teachings but was mostly outside. I couldn’t get anything done there. I needed to go inside.
A few more experiences and pretty soon, I had stopped smoking, I kept having experiences I could not explain, one day, I can see karma in everyone around me and what ties us together, I have an experience where the word Moksha (Liberation) comes back with me. I was a member of another organization but was not quite getting what I was seeking, a year later, I found Ishwar Ji on YouTube and began taking an interest, at first lightly. Then, everything he said took me back to my first major experience of being out of body consciousness. This is where I realized for the last 30 years I was trying to leave the body, not realizing it is only a projection inside. That is when the magic happened. I knew I was not just a body, but something more. At the October workshop at Rice Lake, WI, I became initiated on the path of Sant Mat.